No more excuses!
Aside from running my own Personal Training business, I also work part-time for a small community fitness center. Working for myself, I can choose the type of clients I want to work with based on personality compatibility and their desire to succeed. At my job, I unfortunately do not get to make that choice.
Yesterday, a new member approached me and asked for my professional advice. That person wanted to lose weight, stated that they had never exercised before, and that they (among other things) had severe knee problems. Their first question was how to decrease their waist line.
Before I could even go into detail on how important nutrition is to lose weight and to therefore reduce the waist line, I was already interrupted by “but I eat healthy”. The simple fact that I was not even given the chance to finish my sentence, already made me realize what I am up against. There were plenty of things I wanted to say in response that would have been valid. But in order to minimize immediate confrontation and build up a sense of trust, I changed the subject and asked what type of exercise they were trying to work on that day. Cardiovascular exercise was the focus and they were wondering what type of equipment to use (treadmill, elliptical or bike). I explained the advantages of using an elliptical or bike vs. the potential harm of using a treadmill in regard to the severe knee injury. Not surprisingly, that explanation was interrupted again by an immediate “You’re wrong. I’ll use the treadmill”. At this point I’m thinking, why did that person even ask for my advice when they have obviously made up their mind before they even walked in the door. I gave it one last effort to try to reason with them, without success, and then I had to be straight out honest and tell them, “I’m sorry but I cannot help you!”
This may seem harsh to some of you but let me explain why I refused to help.
I cannot help people who aren’t willing to help themselves. I cannot do the work for them. I do not like wasting my time on people who are not ready to change. I would rather focus on the ones who are ready and willing and give them my undivided attention. The statement “but I eat healthy” is an excuse. No if’s or but’s about it. If it were true, that person wouldn’t be struggling with their weight in the first place. Nobody’s nutrition is absolutely perfect and there is always room for improvement, especially if you’re struggling with your weight. But you have to be willing to hear other opinions and suggestions. The same goes for the issue with the treadmill. I understand the fear of trying something new, a different piece of equipment that you’re not comfortable with. But that person is pain for a reason and continuing on the same path is not going to make it better. There is a saying that goes something like this: “insanity is trying to do the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. If doing the same thing over again isn’t getting you anywhere, why continue? No Personal Trainer in the world is going to be able to help you if you’re not willing to listen to the advice. You have to reach a point of acceptance first that the lifestyle you have been living is not working for what you are trying to accomplish. Only then are you open to suggestions and are ready to make changes. If you’re not ready, it doesn’t matter what I (or any other trainer) says. Don’t let your pride stand in the way of your success and let a Trainer help you. You have to make the decision to change and accept that it is a lifestyle change. No more excuses.
I would love to hear your feedback. Post your comments below.
Back to http://yourchoicefitness.com

November 11th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Its true, those of us who don’t want to face what is in front of us, in the mirror do make excuses. I started to keep a journal on everything I ate, all day. The little nibble here, the little nibble here, I cooked the meals for the family…so it just accumulated. I had no idea till I took an honest look at what I ate, after all I was not being honest with myself.
Now with that being said, I do have a thyroid problem. For what ever reason over the years mine flares up, I think it is stress.
Now finally, I can relate to what you are saying. I have heard myself make excuses on why I cannot exercise,,,weather, don’t feel good, exhausted after work, kids need someone to run them here and there. I know I need a personal trainer, money is so very tight right now. But then again, I am an intelligent woman, I have bought book after book on weight loss programs. I think it is taking the first honest step to making a commitment to myself, putting myself first, and listening to someone who has dedicated them self to to help others. I think when people disregard what a professional is saying, its part of our defense, and not stepping out of our comfort zone. Its scary learning to trust others, and to trust ourselves.
I recently was given a elliptical by someone who was moving, and bought my daughter for her birthday WII fitness.
Recently my oldest brother passed away, and I was not expecting it. He was physical, did not eat right, but he was always so busy. He worked awful shifts, and he grabbed a lot of food on the run. So when I came home from his funeral I hit rock bottom, my heart truly ached for weeks. I thought of my girls, all my future plans, and was scared of what my future held for me. But when I finally picked myself up, I pulled Dr. Mercola’s book out and Dr. Robert Young. I started to juice, and have already dropped 2 sizes, now its time to move on to exercise. So I am walking every day, and plan on picking up speed here shortly with my elliptical.
Your post yesterday where you were so frustrated rang true to me. I know I could see myself in that post.
November 11th, 2009 at 10:00 pm
I so totally agree with you Nicole! Many times people ask questions or advice not ready or willing to accept the truth but more to confirm or hear what they have already decided in their minds the correct answer to be.
I admire your valor and patience in continuing your attempts to help. It definitely shows your commitment and determination to have a possitive impact in fitness.
You are so correct,… “You have to make the decision to change and accept that it is a lifestyle change.” Prior to any change (action), the commitment to that decision needs to be established.
Great blog!!
Carlos
November 11th, 2009 at 10:49 pm
AND don’t let your own your pride stand in the way. They may have not been ready at that point (but they were in a gym right? )which can be the biggest and hardest step for many, but who knows maybe a nicer understanding person could keep them coming back you need to learn both sides. It very hard for an obese or just out of shape person to charm up to a will built person. It take time to listen and trust someone.
November 12th, 2009 at 8:50 am
Andrea:
Thank you for sharing your story! I’m so sorry about your brother. When things like that happen in our lives, we tend to reevaluate our own daily decisions. Planning for the fututre is what we all do. Planning is necessary for us to have goals and to feel accomplished. My hope is though that our future plans don’t hold us back from living to our full potential right now. We all face challenges each and every day. How we face them is up to us. How we mentally approach the situation will ultimately determine whether we can overcome the challenges or at the very least, not let them hold us back. Try to look at your thyroid problem as being just one of those challenges. You can do it! And please know, I’m always here for assistance!
November 12th, 2009 at 8:53 am
Carlos:
. And look at you now, improving on your cardio. Keep it up!
Thank you for your comment! You are a great example that if you just give it a honest attempt, a whole new world of possibilities opens up – my famous leg workout
November 12th, 2009 at 9:11 am
Gena:
Thank you for your comment! I agree, it takes a lot to make that first step of coming to the gym and giving it a try. I’ve been there and I know it’s nervewrecking. Please do not misunderstand, I have a lot of patience, especially for people who are struggling with their weight. I dealt with that issue personally up into my early 20’s and I had all the self-doubt and the insecurities to go along with it. I even went down the dangerous path of an eating disorder because I lost all sense of who I was and what was truly important in life. But it is because I’ve been there myself that I can also tell you that, the particular person I was referring to, was not ready. A simple conversation was not possible. Even an explanation of how to safely use some of the strength training machines was not being heard out. That is why I could not help.
November 12th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
Boy, do I see myself in your blog…and I am sorry. We all think we are eating ok, obviously something is wrong with what I am putting in my body, or my body wouldn’t be 30# overweight! It only took me two months to sign up for your nutrition program
I know that my insane work schedule is part of my problem, but that can’t be changed anytime soon, I just have to make an effort to make sure that I am getting enough sleep. I feel really good about my exercise program. I feel good about improvements I have seen in my strength and my endurance, and have been trying my darnest to stay away from the scale. Keep standing firm in your beliefs….
November 12th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Jacque:
. I’m proud of what you’ve accomplished so far! Remember that YOU are the one who is making those changes and give yourself credit!
Thank you for your comment and for giving insight into your journey to a healthier you. I would like to say congratulations to taking the step of acknowledging that something has to change, that something is not working the way you had hoped. Accepting that is the key to making positive changes.
Of course, exercise is important and you are doing an amazing job with that. But exercise alone can only get you so far. If your nutrition does not go along with it, your efforts will become counterproductive. Sleep has a lot to with it too. Lack of sleep causes stress and that in turn can do a number of things to your body.
Don’t worry, you’re on the right track and I’m there every step of the way as your “tour guide”